The Winking Lizard
by S.E. Ripley
Summary: Sixteen months after Reid's death, Luke is still struggling to move on, even if no one else realizes it.  This is going to be a multi-chaptered fic, and you will see Reid, just not how you may expect. Enjoy.
1. Prologue

"I'd like to thank all of you for being here this evening, for joining me as we congratulate this years scholarship recipients and their families and raise the money to send more bright students like them to the top medical schools in the country. To the benefactors and generous contributors here this evening, thank you for being a part of this organization and for giving these students a chance, for giving them the opportunity to become the top doctors and researchers in their fields, for providing them the means to continue their education, to save lives, to cure diseases, and to carry medicine into a new Era.

"To this evening's honored guests, the ten students seated here in front of me, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you, for your dedication and your effort. I have faith in each and every one of you and I hope for nothing but success and fulfillment in your education and careers.

"I promised to keep this short, and I plan to keep to that promise. Tonight is a night of celebration, a night of gratitude and companionship. Students, you sit here with those who made it possible for you to be where you are now. Benefactors, you sit with the talented minds you told me you had confidence in. Tonight is a night for you to honor that relationship, to embrace and enjoy it. So now everyone's favorite part of the evening, dinner! So let's all eat and have a fun evening. Thank you so much."

Luke stepped down from the podium with a wide smile as the room echoed with applause. He passed each of the ten students he had just been speaking to, hugging some and shaking hands enthusiastically with others, congratulating them by their first names and leaving nothing but warm remarks in their family members' ears. He made it to his own table after nearly ten minutes of mingling; as the waiters began to shift through the room with the array of foods, people began to fall into their seats and quiet down. Luke finally dropped into his own chair, leaning on his arms with a dramatic sigh of relief.

"That speech was perfect, Luke. I don't know why you were so worried," smiled Holden. He and Lily, hands folded together on the table, sat to Luke's left, wearing a suit and elegant cocktail dress respectively. Luke was also clad in a professional suit, though like many others in the room he opted for the more casual approach, leaving the top button undone of his shirt and there was no tie in sight. One thing Luke loved about running his own foundation was that he finally had a say on dress code.

"That was beautiful, sweetie, I'm so proud of you," Lily said next, reaching over to take her son's hand. He beamed at her.

"Thanks, mom," he smiled.

"Perfection, as usual, Luke," came another, more energetic voice. Luke turned with a laugh.

"Thanks, Case," Luke replied as Casey and Alison came to take their seats beside him, wearing matching gold bands on their left ring fingers. "Have you heard from Noah tonight?" he asked expectantly.

"Actually, that's why we weren't at the table, I wanted to get up close so I could let him hear the whole thing."

"What?" Luke laughed, cheeks burning red. Alison practically giggled into her hand, shaking her head as Casey gave him a Cheshire grin.

"Yep. Called him up and let him listen live. He had to run but he said to tell you he'll call you later and that the speech was awesome."

Luke nodded and bit his lip, continuing to smile at his friends and unable to hide how happy he was that Noah had heard and liked his speech. John and Lucinda returned to their seats a few minutes later as well, having been making the rounds themselves. For Lucinda Walsh, mingling was like an Olympic sport, and she always won the gold.

"Brilliant, darling," she said, dropping a kiss onto his cheek. John congratulated him, patting him firmly on the shoulder.

"Reid would have been proud, son," he said, sounding rather proud himself. Luke's eyes softened, and he smiled appreciatively.

"I know," he said. "Thank you."

John pat him on the shoulder one more time before sitting down with Lucinda. Luke looked around at the three couples seated with him, the joy in their eyes and the laughter in their voices. He couldn't be happier for them. He glanced at the single empty chair, though, just to his right: The one that Luke insisted be left there. He smiled at it before glancing up to the small stage again, the banner above reading, "Congratulations Recipients of the Dr. Reid Oliver Memorial Medical Scholarship 2011!" His eyes glistened, that familiar lump in his throat taking hold. Luke shut his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose to calm the cramps in his stomach. He sighed, opening his eyes just as the food was being placed in front of them, a large smile taking over again as he let himself be dragged into the small talk going on between everyone and finding comfort in their company.

"We should get going, sweetie," said Lily, the group standing together just outside the building. "We're driving back to Oakdale tonight with John and your Grandmother. You three have fun, but behave," she added with a soft laugh, kissing Luke on the cheek. She let a hand hesitate on his arm, staring at him with tear-filled eyes. "I'm so proud of you, baby. Reid would be so proud, too."

It wasn't the first, the second, or even the fifteenth time Luke had heard that phrase tonight, but he never got tired of it. He knew it was true.

"Thanks, mom. I love you," he said, hugging her gently and laughing encouragingly as she wiped her eyes.

"Alright, alright, behave!" she reminded Luke, Casey and Alison as they started toward their car. She waved one last time as they drove past, blowing Luke a kiss.

"Okay!" shouted Casey as soon as the car was out of sight, clapping his hands together and rubbing them conspiratorially. "It's almost eight o'clock. We're in Chicago! What shall we do?"

Luke and Alison exchanged looks.

"Casey, we spent all of yesterday wandering around the city. What more is there to see?" laughed Luke.

"I don't know, but I'm sure we'll find something!"

"How about we just get some good old fashioned Chicago styled pizza and watch a movie at the hotel?" suggested Alison. Luke straightened up.

"Sounds perfect!"

"You two are so lame."

After receiving a small punch in the arm from Alison and five minutes of straight laughter from Luke, the trio set off in search of pizza and arrived back at the hotel shortly after nine o'clock. They stayed in Luke's room, since he had less stuff and a spare bed for them to sit on. Casey got to pick the movie, turning on some B-rated thriller that Luke barely saw any of. Ten minutes in his phone buzzed and he scrambled into the hallway to answer.

"Noah!" he shouted happily into the phone.

"Hey there," Noah laughed, please by Luke's enthusiasm.

"I'm glad you called, sorry we didn't get to talk much earlier."

"No, it's fine. You had to get ready for the dinner, I got stuck at work. It happens."

Luke was smiling into the receiver, leaning back on the wall. "So, what happened anyway?"

Noah started laughing quietly and Luke could picture him scratching the back of his head. "Well," he began.

They spent the better part of two hours chatting about their day, Noah recounting the near catastrophe in lighting for the Indie film he was working on and Luke explaining that setting up simple fold out tables is apparently much harder than it appears. There was laughter and familiarity in the way they spoke. Luke ended up sitting on the floor against the wall, ignoring the one or two people who passed him in the hallway, his entire focus centered on Noah's words, Noah's voice.

"How's Ashton doing by the way?" Luke asked suddenly, feeling bad for not bringing it up before.

"He's doing alright. Still trying to find work, well, real work. He's got an interview to work on a play in San Francisco next week, though, so hopefully something comes of that."

"Wow, that's really fantastic Noah. Tell him good luck for me," said Luke brightly.

"I will."

"So if he gets it, will you both be moving out there?"

"No, just Ben, at least for the beginning. Rehearsals would only be going for about a month and a half before the actual show, and he has some friends out that way he can stay with. I should be done with 'Reasons' in about three weeks, so I'd probably go join him for the last half of the run."

"Wow, sounds exciting!"

"I guess," Noah laughed. "Your speech was great, by the way. I told Casey to tell you."

"He did," said Luke. "And thank you. I'm glad you liked it."

"I know you've probably heard this a bunch, Luke, but Reid would have been proud of you. You're doing a great thing, with this scholarship."

"Thanks, Noah," smiled Luke, his eyes watering again. "That means a lot from you."

"Hey, well, I should get going, Ben's getting off in a bit and he promised to take me to dinner to make up for my bad day," said Noah kindly with a laugh.

"Sounds great!" said Luke, joining in the laughter. "Tell him hi for me."

"Will do. Take care, Luke. I'll talk to you later."

"You, too, Noah. Bye."

Luke leaned his shoulders into the wallpaper behind him, knees bent against his chest and both hands gripping the phone loosely between his legs and his stomach. And there it was, that knot he felt every time he said goodbye to Noah. It had taken them a long time, too long, to get to where they were now. Every time they said goodbye Luke's heart would clench, eager for the moment they would say hello again. It took him a few minutes to calm down, tight shoulders finally relaxing as he slumped further into the ground.

"I wish you could have been here tonight," he whispered into the air, a sad smile falling over his face. "I think you would have approved of them, the students. There's one, Kali Trent. She reminds me of you. She was so snappy and confident in her interview. Anyone else probably have turned her down, thought she was rude and cocky… but all I could see was you. She was the first one I picked in the end."

Luke spoke quickly, recounting the evening out loud to Reid and laughing at some of his own silly stories, imaging how Reid would have reacted, predicting when he would have rolled his eyes, and getting lost in the idea of holding Reid's hand at the dinner table. Silently, he cried, but even through the tears he somehow managed to smile.

Around midnight the door to his room opened.

"Hey," said Alison in her gentle voice, crouching down to touch Luke's shoulder. "We're gonna head to our room. Still on for breakfast tomorrow before we leave?"

Luke nodded. "Yeah, of course," he said with a tense smile. She stood back up, smiling back sympathetically as she took Casey's hand. Casey issued Luke a goodnight and gave a small wave before the two started down the hall.

He waited until they were around the corner and out of sight to slowly stand up and wander back into his own room. The TV was already off and Luke hit the lights, not even bothering to change as he fell onto the bed, almost instantly falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 1

"How's Cleveland?" came Noah's voice through the phone.

"Cold," Luke laughed. "If we thought the snow was bad in Oakdale in February… god, its nothing compared to here! Something about… lake effect storms or something? I don't know. But it's freezing and it won't stop snowing!"

"That's why you need to get your ass out here to L.A.!" came a third voice, a bit more muffled than Noah's.

Luke laughed. "Am I on speaker phone?"

"Yeah," said Noah with a chuckle. "Ashton insisted."

"Had to hear your pretty voice, Lukey," called Ashton again. Noah and Luke both laughed.

"Hi Ashton," Luke said into the phone, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"So when is the fundraiser?" asked Noah.

"Tonight," answered Luke. "Honestly… I'm pretty nervous."

"Why?"

"It's the first major fundraiser of the year! And I'm flying solo for the first time."

"You're going to be fine," Noah insisted. "You practically run these things yourself every time anyway."

"Yeah, but at least you or Casey or my parents or Grandmother are sitting there smiling back at me, giving me confidence. We're trying to push our numbers this year, we're hoping for fifteen scholarships, not just ten. What if I can't do it?"

"Luke," said Noah firmly at the sound of hysteria seeping into Luke's words. "After the speech you gave last month in Chicago, the way you talked so simply but honestly with them and showed them exactly why this is important, I have nothing but faith in you. I know you can do this, you know you can do this."

Luke smiled, sighing a little into the phone. "You're right," he conceded.

"Of course I am," laughed Noah.

"Thank you, Noah. I don't know what I'd do without you."

There was a pause, but Luke swore he could hear Noah smiling.

"Just… I don't know, picture Henry in drag, that's easy enough to do anyway, that should calm the nerves," suggested Noah, causing both men to fall into laughter. "And call me later, tell us how it went, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Alright. Well good luck, not that you need it."

"Break a leg, Luke!" Ashton called from the background.

Luke took Noah's advice. As he sat in the front of the modest dining hall, clutching his note card as the speaker began to introduce him, he closed his eyes and pictured Henry in the frilliest pink dress he could imagine. He almost started laughing, a bright smile on his lips as the room broke into applause, his cue to take the stage.

The rest of the evening went smoothly. Luke went over the purpose of his foundation and this specific scholarship, about why helping to educate these bright students was so important. By the end of the evening as the totals started coming in, Luke was nearly in tears to see that they had well passed their goal. He spoke with many familiar faces who were returning donors but also with new names, thanking each and every one of them for their contributions.

By the end of the evening as he stepped out into the cold Cleveland air, shaking a few more hands before turning down onto Euclid Ave. Luke liked to walk. It would take him maybe twenty minutes to get back to his hotel, but he didn't mind. He continued down the street, stopping only to smile up at the lights of Playhouse Square as they shone down on him.

Luke stopped for a moment, curiosity gripping him. He stepped inside, sighing happily at the warm air as he approached the advertisements along the wall, and glanced over which plays were in town. He was staying in Cleveland for two more days, meeting with some business associates for other foundation projects while he was in town. Perhaps he'd see a play, he considered.

Just then the main doors opened and a flood of people, chatting loudly about whatever show they had just seen, began to swarm toward him. Luke stayed to the side, jumping into the crowd when he found an opening and allowing himself to be herded out onto the street again.

There were people everywhere, filing out from not one but two of the theaters. They were walking up and down the street, crossing through traffic to get to the parking garages. Luke was careful as he pushed his way through, politely weaving through the sea of people.

It was then that he saw him.

Luke blinked several times, his body going rigid and his breath catching painfully in his throat.

It had been a year and a half since Luke had last seen that hair, those eyes, those lips. There were pictures everywhere, the first thing Luke saw when he opened his wallet were those same lips and eyes and hair. But this, this was so much more. The sandy brown locks were still in tight curls, a bit shorter than Luke remembered them. The eyes were just as blue as they'd always been and they shone bright beneath the theater lights. Those lips, though. Oh, they were still the same, still perfect, even if they were pulled into a scowl. The jaw was clenched tightly, eyes wide with … fear? No, not fear. But something close to fear.

"Reid?" Luke breathed, his breath visible in front of him. The man finally moved, turning his back to Luke and walking off in the other direction. "Reid!"

Luke began to follow him, pushing not-so politely through the crowd, but the other man was too fast. Luke finally broke through the mass of people and onto an empty street corner, but that face was nowhere to be found. Eyes wide with hysteria, Luke turned in circles, looking everywhere and anywhere.

Then the tears began to fall, the cold finally beginning to bite at his fingers and face.

"Reid!"


	3. Chapter 2

Adam James Lucanto was a private man to put it lightly. After moving to Cleveland nine months ago his colleagues still knew as much about him now as they did then, and what they knew wasn't a lot. They knew he was a young hot shot doctor that had only recently become a well known name in the medical community and was swiftly moving his way up. They knew he had gone to Harvard medical school, done his residency at the Cleveland Clinic Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health in Las Vegas and then… well, they didn't know much about his time between then and now. Something about international endeavors and overseas partnerships and more babble that simply reminded them that the man was a genius and they were lucky to have him in the first place, but did nothing to answer their burning questions.

What they did know about Adam Lucanto was that he was angry, lonely, and rude; but they also knew that he was brilliant, passionate, and determined. Few liked him, but everyone at the very least had a great deal of respect for him.

His life in cold, boring Cleveland, Ohio, was, well, cold and boring. He didn't socialize, didn't date, didn't go watch crappy football games or join the masses as they continued to scream about losing LeBron James or how "this is the year for the Indians!" He didn't have a lot of Cleveland Pride, but hey, he wasn't from Cleveland, so why the hell should he? As far as Adam was concerned, Cleveland had only three redeemable factors; one, The Winking Lizard on Huron. Two, the Cleveland Clinic. And three, Playhouse Square.

No, he wasn't a sucker for the arts, but he could buy a back-row seat to some half-assed production of god-knows-what for $10 and kick back a beer at the same time for an extra $4. It was a temporary fix when he simply needed an excuse to pay attention to something other than his own life. The over-the-top dramas, as well as his own desires to kill himself after sitting through a particularly horrible musical, were in-your-face reminders that life could still get worse.

Ha.

Today, Adam highly doubted that life could get worse. His past was on his heels and the problem was that he knew it. It was screwing with his already barely-stable state of mind; his job felt even more unsatisfying than usual, and while he knew, he _knew_ he should just stay home and drink himself into oblivion like he'd done on countless occasions since last summer when he settled into the crap-ass apartment he called home, he was simply too much of a glutton for punishment; apparently in more ways than one.

Tonight's options were: "South Pacific" -_you have got to be kidding me_-, "Altar Boyz" -_I don't even want to know-_ and Clay Aiken -_….-. _

Adam bought his ticket and wandered into the State Theater, climbing up to the top and bracing himself as the overture for "South Pacific" numbed his ears.

If he was being honest, which he wasn't, the show hadn't been half bad. He couldn't really tell you a damn thing that had happened, but it hadn't completely pissed him off. The buzzing crowd around him, however, was proving to be a different story.

His anger subsided, though just barely, when the cold air hit his face. Euclid Avenue was littered with people leaving the various shows that were letting out, a sea of gawking fans twisting and turning. Adam stood against the building, not bothering to fight his way down to the bus stop just yet.

He breathed deeply, the frigid air scraping against his lungs painfully. He loved it. Every little reminder that he was alive, and every little reminder why it wasn't fair, were ones he cherished. He knew it wasn't healthy, but hell, he had no reason to care about his own health anymore. His mind wandered to the patients he'd had over the years, the various ailments that had claimed or nearly claimed their lives. Heart disease, brain tumor, hemorrhaging, kidney failure… oh, how he insanely longed for a problem of his own, for his own weakness to take hold and kill him now. But it wouldn't happen. He knew it wouldn't, for his real weakness wasn't anything physical. Adam Lucanto wasn't that lucky.

As the crowd began to disperse ever so slowly Adam decided he best be getting 'home' and started to head East, figuring he'd grab a sandwich at Subway before hopping on the bus.

That's when he saw him.

The handsome boy, no, man, his dark hair with only a hint of blond tucked neatly behind his ears and hazel eyes wide and joyful in a way that Adam's eyes hadn't been in years. He almost hated to see such joy. Almost. Then again, that simple look, the smile on the young man's face… it was enough to make Adam consider smiling himself for the first time in months.

Said man looked up just as the possibility of a smile flittered through Adam's mind, their eyes locking luke magnets that were only attracted to each other. The happiness faded and the eyes darkened; Adam was reminded why he never smiled.

He could see the young man moving toward him and he knew he had to leave. At first his feet wouldn't let him, his veins seeming to fill with lead. He recognized the face from the pictures, knew that this man would be in town after reading the day's headline announcing: "Luke Snyder Discusses Foundation's Future" and smaller blurbs having made the front page for days. It had been taunting him from every news stand in the city all week; and that knowledge, that preparation, was the only reason he had the strength to turn and leave.

Going West now, Adam somehow managed to get lost in a small group of walkers crossing the street and entering Starbucks. Personally, he hated Starbucks; it was nothing compared to the mom-and-pop place he used to love, but it would be a fine hide out for the time being.

It seemed to work. He moved upstairs to the small loft where he could see out over the street, watching in agony as the young man spun around, apparently searching for him, calling out a name that Adam didn't answer to. He frowned, forcing himself to watch until the blond had left before venturing down to the street again and catching a bus back to his side of town.


End file.
